I's free...for now

Um...yeah. So that whole idea of writing and updating this blog 3 times a week hasn’t worked out so well. That last month of the semester kicked my ass. Somehow I managed to survive. I’s free! I said I’s free...until the middle of next month anyway. I’m still waiting on the final grades for 2 of my classes but the breakdown for grades is:

* Sociology 1= "A"

* ISAC 104= "A" (ISAC classes are really history classes,but for some reason, HNU refuses to realize and call them history classes. I always have to explain what an “ISAC” class is)

* Social/Cultural History= "A-"

* ISAC 195W= "B-" (I was sure I was going to get an “A” in this course. It was my senior thesis course and my final paper was pretty damn good if I
say so myself. I’m tempted to email the instructor to find out what
the actual grade for the paper was. The “B-” is for the overall class.

* Dramatic Literature= "B-" (f*ckin' hated this class and the teacher)

* Psych 1B= not sure yet, possibly a “B”

* Political Science 1= not sure yet, possibly another “B”

I did slightly worse than I expected this semester. Towards the very end I just said “f*ck it!” to some of the minor assignments & extra credit. I can only bullsh*t so much in one semester and had reached my limit.

Now that school is over for a few weeks I have no idea what to do with myself. I’m sitting at home after work and it always hits me that I ain’t got sh*t to do. I can’t relax. Of course, two days before classes start up again I’ll finally start relaxing and enjoying my time off. I’ll probably spend most of my time off researching graduate schools. I really would like to find a program that is entirely online, but no luck so far. If I wanted to study something like Business Administration or get a degree more geared towards the corporate world finding an online program would be no problem. Once again, I’ve changed my mind on post undergrad education. As of this writing I have no real idea of what I’m going to be studying in the fall. I can’t quite make up my mind. I originally decided not to apply to SFSU Human Sexuality program and look at other graduate programs. I’m rethinking that decision. If I get accepted the SFSU program that would be great, but I’m still not sure if it’s actually the right path for yours truly. I’ve found myself really drawn to sociology over the past year and am leaning heavily towards pursuing a Masters in Sociology. Don’t worry, dear hearts, I will still be pursuing a career as a Sexual Health Educator. I think the Sociology degree would be really beneficial. I did look into Social Work, but have decided against that after going to an information meeting at one of the local colleges. It’s not for me.

Guess I’ll finally start working on the grad school admissions paperwork. One day I’ll look back on all this and smile...I hope. Or maybe I’ll be drinking in a gutter crying over all the bloody debt I’m incurring, wondering what the hell am I really going to do now that I’ve got PhD after my name.

- Strange ((^_~))

The difference between erotica and porn

There is always a question of what is erotica and what is porn? Are they same thing? This what I say about when it comes to writing sex.

Porn is: get in, get it on, get out.

Erotica is: a little small talk, get in, little more small talk, get it on, just a tiny bit more small talk, get out.

And now you know.

You're welcome.

- Strange ((^_~))

4 weeks and counting

I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!

That's what's going to be running through my head these next few weeks. I've got 4 weeks until this semester is over. I've got so much shit due and I'm trying real hard not to find a nice corner, curl up into a ball, and just start crying like a baby. I finally had to make a list of remaining assignments due and post it near my computer at home and in my cubicle at work. I'm so scatterbrain right now and somehow I've managed to keep up with all my work.

Even with all my academic, boring writing, I've managed to eek out little pieces of time to work on my personal writing. I have an erotica piece that's coming along nicely. I actually started writing it over 6 years ago, got a few paragraphs into and then quit. The main character started out as woman, but 6 years later I just didn't feel like writing lesbian erotica, so presto-chango to a few names and pronouns and now I have a hot ass gay guy as the main character. This is the first time I have ever written a story where my protagonist is male. I may have to watch some gay porn...for research of course.

Bit of advice for my fellow erotica/porn writers out there: writing sexy stuff at work makes it hard to concentrate on work. I write on my break and during lunch and always have a hard time...um...err...uh...settling down (if you know what I mean) once I get back to my desk.

It's on those days that I wish I had van with tinted windows.((^_~))

- Strange ((^_~))

Walking down memory lane

It wasn't so long ago I was lamenting about about the passing of Proposition 8. My, my, what a difference a year DOESN'T MAKE. Proposition 1 passed in Maine last night.

This latest act of hatred has got me wondering, It is time to go old school and invoke the spirit of the Women's rights movement, the Black Civil Right movement, and the Stonewall riots? Are we finally ready to do more than marching in the Castro or West Hollywood, just to preach to the choir. Is it time to get really angry? Enough of this trying to talk to our enemies. News flash: THEY AIN'T LISTENING AND DON'T CARE.

I know there are some of you out there saying "but Strange, what about the children? What about tradition? Someone has go to think of the children. This isn't about hate, it's about protecting our children." News flash number 2: America don't give damn about children. If America really cared about children, the millions and millions of dollars spent on these anti-gay campaigns would be used to provide better education and health care to all children.

As for tradition, there are a lot of things that we used to allow that were considered part of our tradition that eventually had to go the way of dinosaurs. But for those of you who really want to preserve the sanctity of marriage and have it remain between 1 man and 1 woman. Here is what I propose:

1: Only unions that are performed by a religious authority figure (priest, reverend, rabbi,etc.) and in a house of worship (temple, mosque, church, etc.) will be recognized as having the legal standing of marriage. If you were thinking of just going down to the courthouse or hopping on a plane to get married by an Elvis impersonator, think again.

2. If you are an atheist, please see #1. Guess this means you're shit out of luck.

3. Outlaw divorce. You marry someone after knowing them for 1 month and it don't work out. Tough, work it out, remember the sanctity of marriage!

4. Many of the anti-marriage equality folks believe that marriage should only be between a man and woman because of procreative reasons. Ok, fine. I proposed that only people who agree to reproduce offspring should be allowed to obtain legal marriage. Since men can reproduce children from the time they hit puberty until they day they croak, this new law will only affect women. So, only women between, let's say the ages of 18-35 will allowed to be married. No one under 18 should ever be married because that's just not right and let's face it, who wants to marry someone over 35, with their 35 year old unfertilized eggs. Gross.

What people don't seem to understand (or choose to ignore) is those who are for marriage equality are not trying to tell any religious institution who they can or cannot marry. I would never go into any religious institution and demand that they marry me & Craigie Poo. I may not agree with a lot of religious ideology out there today, but I respect their right to practice and believe how they wish. Marriage equality is exactly what it says: it's about equality. I should be just as legally married to Craigie in Pennsylvania as I am in California as I am in Virginia. Marriage equality is about giving LGBT people the same rights that heterosexual often do not think about when they sign that marriage license. For example, Craigie Poo has multiple sclerosis and twice this year she has been hospitalized. If we were in some place like Arkansas, there is a good chance that I would have no legal say in her treatment because has far as the state is concerned, I'm no different from some stranger on the street.

I often hear that marriage is a religious sacrament and always has been (it was also about fathers selling their daughters, but let's just ignore that). What people fail to realize is, in the United States if you don't sign the document known as a marriage certificate, you ain't married. You and your Suga'bear/Honeybunch/Snugglebunny are just two people living together. You can go through all the hoops and theatrics to have a big fancy church wedding, but if you haven't taken yourself down to your local courthouse signed, paid your fee, and submitted that piece of paper, you ain't married in the eyes of the law. What you have is a religious marriage. Everybody who gets legally married in the United States has this thing called a civil marriage but not everybody who has a civil marriage has a religious marriage. Civil marriage (not civil unions because honestly, I really have no damn idea what they hell those are) is what the fight for Marriage Equality is about. It is with civil marriage that all the rights Marriage Equality advocate fight for come through. If two people want to also have a religious marriage and ceremony then that will be an issue that they will need to work out privately with their religious faith institutions.

When will we learn that the rights of a minority can never be put up for a vote? Hell, if that was true, my black female ass would still be sitting at the back of the damn bus waiting for my daddy to sell me to the highest bidder.

I doubt he'd get much seeing how I haven't been a virgin in a loooooong time.



- Strange ((^_~))

Writing and Insomnia

Good news: I have managed to do a lot of writing this past week and have been exceeding my minimum 250 daily word count.

Bad news: most of it has been academic writing.

I had told myself that I wasn't going to include academic writing in my word count, but reality is reality and my reality includes writing a lot of papers as this semester winds down. I have managed to sneak in a few creative writing moments over this past week. I'm starting to flesh out this screenplay idea about a heterosexual couple exploring the world of BDSM. That's all I'm saying about it for now. I'm really excited about how the story is just flowing onto paper. It's been an idea that's been floating in my brianium (I don't think that's a real word, but so what. I like it.) for a few years now.

I've been trying to formulate some good ideas for some erotica short stories, but having no luck. I've tried reading some erotica lately, but everything seems so tame and just not horny. Maybe I should look at reading porn. There is a difference between the two. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I know it when I see it.

I can't be sure, but I think all this creative energy that I have stored up is the reason why I'm suffering from a bit of insomnia. There are days when all I can think about is getting in bed and going to sleep. The minute I get into bed my brain turns on and won't shut the hell up. It's not especially pleasant seeing how I usually set my alarm for 4:30 am (with the hopes of working out) and 5:40 am (the latest I can sleep during the work week and get to work on time). The melatonin tablets aren't working anymore.

Whine whine whine. :(

- Strange ((^_~))

Back at the Plantation

We have a new email server/system thingie here at the plantation. It ain't working probably (shocking) and everybody seems to be in a panic.

I took 2 days of vacation early this week so I could focus on my school work. Somehow I've managed to work 40 hours a week and carry 7 classes. That's 21 units. Yeah, I know...what was I thinking? Let's just say math and the hard sciences will never be my friends and the 4 classes I took over this past year in those disciplines really brought my GPA down. While I was still just above a 3.1, I added more humanities and social science classes to my already full course load this semester to bring that GPA of mine back up. Luckily 3 of my classes are all online.

I LOVE ONLINE LEARNING!!!

I can't believe I waited so long to take online classes. I can do it anytime, anywhere, and unlike being in traditional classrooms, I actually participate in the discussions." I'm taking a political science course and if I actually had to sit in a classroom and be a part of live discussions, I would have dropped weeks ago. Dudes, if I could find an online graduate program that fit my needs I would so be there.

I also finally started writing my senior thesis paper (I've have a rough draft due this Friday). Of course, all my creative juices start flowing during the last few hours of my vacation time (which was quite annoying since I took the 2 days of vacation so I could focus on writing the bloody paper). That might explain why I could not turn off my brain last night and didn't get to sleep until close to 1am. Somehow I managed to drag myself out of bed at 4:30am this morning and did some additional studying.

I also made a big purchase this morning from Amazon. I give more information when I have my new toy in my greedy little hands.

- Strange ((^_~))

P.S. If you were looking for something juicier in a blog posting, remember this, I said I would update this blog more...I didn't say nothing about them being good blog post. Don't judge me. You don't know me. ((^_~))

The Muse is back…or at least she’s trying real hard to surface

I don’t know what’s been going on the last few weeks, but for the first time in damn near 10 years I’m feeling inspired to get back into pursuing my creative arts. For those you who don’t know, yours truly is a published author. I’ve had at least 3 stories published in various lesbian erotica anthologies. Yes, dears, your girl's a smut peddler and quite proud! You can check them out here, here , and here.

I used to write all the time and loved it. I would daydream about writing and directing films. Somewhere along the way, those dreams got pushed further and further to the back of my brain. I think it coincided with my entering the work world full time.

Before I was a full fledge adult working full time, I would spend hours at the library roaming the stacks or riding back and forth on BART just writing away in my notebook. I completed my first (and to date only) feature length screenplay in a few months just riding BART. I would start at which every station I was closest to, ride to the end of the line, and ride all the way back to the end of the other line. It was amazing.

Now, all these years later I look at my life and I realized I’m not happy (work wise) and more importantly completely unfilled when it comes to my work life and career. I really don’t have a career. I have a job. I don’t want that anymore. I need to focus on where my real talents lie and get off my flat ass and start pursuing them hard. I’ve decided that if I’m going to be making next no money it should be doing something that I don’t mind waking up at dark o’clock in the morning for.

So, here are my goals for the upcoming year:.

1. Write- from now until the end of the year (which is about 9 weeks) I’m determined to write at least 250 words a day. That equals hovers around half a page singled space or a full page double spaced. Being a Pisces, I'm big on the daydreaming and I recently realized that my daydreams would make really interesting tales. After the start of the new year, I’ll look into increasing the 250 word count.

2. Update this damn blog more than once every few months. I always complain when I go to blogs that haven’t been update in 2 years. I’m aiming for new blog postings at least 3 times a week for now.

3. Take a film/video class. I did take about a year's worth of classes at City College of San Francisco back in the late nineties. I have a rudimentary knowledge of the process. I still got dreams of writing/directing films. Hollywood is in desperate need of new ideas these days. How many more damn remakes can I see being advertised?

4. Now that the first part of college education is coming to a close, I’ll be able to focus on pursuing my other career goal of being a Sexual Health Educator. I’ll be looking into applying to some programs to get that foundational education.

5. I’ve really gotten into listening to podcasts over the past few months. I’m in the mental stages of planning my own podcast. I got random shit I like to talk about why not share with the rest of the world. I’m also really loving video podcasts and having been searching around for a decent camcorder.

What are your goals for the upcoming year? Please share.

-Strange ((^_~))

Shug Avery says…

“I’s married now! I said I’s married now."

I really don’t know why I don’t have that movie in my collection. I do like to quote from it quite often.

Anyways, I can’t believe it’s been just over 2 weeks since CraigiePoo and I got married and I haven’t posted about it. It was all awesome. Our dresses were gorgeous. The venue was beautiful. The food (the little that I got to enjoy) was delicious. It’s amazing how much effort goes into planning a party that only lasts 5 hours from start to finish.

I woke up that morning actually feeling a bit nauseous. I don’t know if it was from the nerves or if it was from the weird dream that was playing in my head just before I woke up. In the dream some greasy dude was talking crazy about how Gavin Newsome and Barack Obama weren’t real Democrats and were ruining the country. Then he would bite into a strawberry, vomit it back (yes, you read that correctly) and then hand it to me. I woke up on the greasy dude’s third upchuck and ran to the bathroom. I just knew I was about to vomit. It was hours before my stomach settled down.

After we left Craigie’s hair appointment (I even got my hair cleaned up for free) we arrived at the hotel a little after 12 and then hung out for a few hours before the 2 photographers arrived at 4pm. It’s real hard trying to act normal when you got somebody following you around with a camera. About 5:45pm CraigiePoo, myself, and our wedding party were packed into the hotel shuttle on our way to the wedding venue, which was less than 5 minutes away by car.

With the exception of the florist misreading the invoice and only providing us with one bridesmaid’s bouquet instead of the three we order, everything was as we had vision. As for the missing two bouquets, my new sister-in-law managed to make the one bouquet into three smaller ones and the florist refunded our money.

I really don’t remember much about the actual ceremony. The one thing I can remember is smiling like an idiot the entire time. I couldn’t stop cheesing. CraigiePoo decided to surprise me and sang part of her vows. Someone how I managed to get to read my vows with passing out.

After the ceremony there was picture taking, more picture taking, and still more picture taking before we were announced. The night was so much fun. We danced and danced and danced for hours. I could feel the sweat just dripping off of me. Sometime around 10:30pm we were back at the hotel exhausted and hungry. I think we both only managed to eat a few bites of food the entire night. It was the best day of my life.




Now, that 10 months of preparation and planning have come and gone, I have no idea what we’re going to do to fill up our time.

One thing comes to mind: BABIES!!!

Stay tuned

- Strange ((^_~))

Statistically speaking

I finished my Introduction to Statistics course three days ago. I’m glad it’s over, but I won’t be able to do my dance of joy until I know what my final grade is. I need a “C” grade. I think my primary school will accept a “D” as passing, but I would prefer the higher grade since I’m applying to graduate schools (more information on more post-BA decisions in another post) in the next few months. I need to maintain a 3.0 GPA. I really don’t understand the purpose of taking any math beyond pre-algebra. I’ve been saying since 1989, when I entered ninth grade and took my first algebra class, “when am I ever going to use this in the real world?”

And if I do need to use it, that’s when I would just pay somebody to do the math for me.





- Strange ((^_~))

When did I become such an old person?

So, I spent last night sleeping on a makeshift bed on the floor. No, I didn't get kicked out of bed (puhleeze, who would ever kick me out) rather my lower back is killing me. It started Saturday night. I spent 2, maybe 3 hours slouched on the couch eating pizza and watching Golden Girls reruns. Some people like to go out and get drunk on Saturday nights, I like to stuff my face with greasy food and watch the wacky adventures of funny old white ladies.

Don't judge me!

Anyhoo, when I got up off the couch this horrible pain shot through me. I figured it was just the muscles stiff from not moving in few hours and the pain would just go away soon. I woke up Sunday still in pain and spent the majority of the day with an icepack wedge in the back of my underwear. Yeah, I know….sexxxy!

I’ve tried Aleve, Excedrin, and was even tempted to take some old pain medication I found in the back of the closet. CraigiePoo convinced me not to. Every time I would try to rest on the bed that just proved to be the equivalent of gnomes just kicking me in the back. Every turn produced some horribly wincing noise. I eventually decided to just try sleeping on the couch hoping the hard surface would help.

It didn’t.

I don’t know how I managed to pull myself up off the floor this morning. Once I was standing…or at least a close approximation to standing I had to call CraigiePoo to come help me. I could barely move my legs. I managed to make it to the bathroom in time.

So now I’m sitting at the table in a hard chair waiting for CraigiePoo to get out of the shower. Looks like I’m going to have to drag myself to store to get some pain medication. I called “Alexis”, but apparently she’s too busy to bring me anything. Something about “I just got to work. I can’t leave. Blah blah blah.”




- Strange ((^_~))

I's Gettin' Married!

So, CraigiePoo and I went in for a final dress fittings yesterday morning. The dresses look awesome. I can't believe the wedding is only 7 days away. The months have flown by since that evening in September 2008 when Craigie popped the question. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous or excited and honestly, no, i'm not. Even though it's one week away the wedding still feels very far away. That could be because we had damn near everything already completed by the end of December. So in these last few weeks there hasn't been that overwhelming rush to get everything done. I have yet to have a total Bridezilla freak out moment, although "Alexis" has been slowly but surely pushing me into Bridezilla territory these past couple of days. If I say you should have your dress by April don't come to me in July just now asking about dresses and alterations. And it ain't like I didn't ask her repeatedly "how's the dress hunt going."

Anyhoo, this last week will probably test my patience and see how I really act under pressure. CraigiePoo's family is flying in this Thursday, I have a hair appointment on Thursday, and I also have a Statistics test on Thursday as well. I also think we're having a "favor" party this Thursday as well. Good grief, Thursday alone may have me drinking straight out the bottle.

Ask me on July 17th if i'm nervous or excited and we'll see what my answer is then.

Whew...decisions decisions

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what exactly it is I want to do with my life, professionally speaking. How do I wish to make money and sustain myself and future Mrs. (11 days and counting to the wedding by the way)?

For so long I’ve been so hyper focused on going to San Francisco State University for graduate school and studying in their Human Sexuality Program. It's the reason I went back to school to get my bachelor's degree. If they had offered a BA degree in Human Sexuality I would have stopped with schooling once I got my BA. I’ve focused so much on wanting to get acceped into the masters program that every report card I got would have me biting my nails, wondering if my GPA was still high enough for this program. I needed at least a 3.0. My GPA is around 3.2. I wondered if I was smart enough to get in or if I was a "radical enough thinker" for San Francisco. I'm a borderline tree hugging liberal, but there are times when I feel some of my views regarding sex, sexuality, and gender can be construed as conversative by Bay Area standards. Since it’s the only program of its kind in the United States (other than 1 doctoral program in Pennsylvania) I was so fixated on getting accepted into SFSU. If I could just get in, I’d be set.

As I now enter my last semester of undergraduate work it’s now time for me to start the application process for the Human Sexuality Program.

At least it was...until a few weeks ago.

My BFF, "Alexis", threw me a bachelorette party about 3 weeks ago. Towards the end I mentioned to one of the party guest my school plans. She was like, “nope. You don’t need to go there to learn and teach about sexuality.” My party guest had actually worked in the department and didn’t have great things to say about it. As we talked I realized that there were other avenues (right here in the Bay Area) for me to obtain the type of sexuality education I wanted. I'm more interested in counseling/advising rather than scientific research in the field of sexuality.

Right now my goal is to go through the San Francisco Sex Information Training Program. I'm also going to enroll in City College of San Francisco's Sexual Health Educator Certificate program The cool thing about CCSF's program is that I've already taken two of the required courses in the past.

I can’t explain how relieved I am to have that weight off my shoulders. Now I’m in the process of investigating other fields of graduate worked that will compliment my sexual education studies. I’m thinking possibly a Masters in Social Work, Counseling, or Sociology. Seeing how these are degrees that are offered at many colleges and university right here in the Bay Area the anxiety of “will I get in,” has dissipated.

Now I need to turn my attention to getting admissions applications submitted.



- Strange ((^_~))

Insomnia is 9 ½ Bitches!!!!

So this past weekend I slept until about 11 on Saturday and til 10 on Sunday. It was nice. I haven’t been able to sleep in that late on a weekend in a long time. Anyways, last night (Sunday) I was all prepared to get into bed by 9 so I could get up bright and early to work out in the morning. I took my shower, got in my pajamas, took a melatonin and was all set to get in bed by 9. 9 o’clock rolls around and I’m still wide awake. Ok, no big deal. I’ll just watch Family Guy and then go to bed. 9:30 rolls around, Family Guy is off and I’m still awake. I watch American Dad and finally climb into bed at 10 expecting to fall fast asleep.

Sometime around 11:45pm I found myself sitting at my computer going through my photos deleting a bunch of them. It was like I had drunk a whole pot of super coffee. I was wide awake. Around 12:15 I climb back into bed and continue to toss and turn. I finally gave up on sleeping in the bed around 1am and made my way to the couch where I probably laid awake for another 20 minutes, finally falling asleep around 1:30 only to be awaken a short while later around 4:30. 4:30 was the time I had planned to get up to workout this morning.

That ain’t happened today.

I finally managed to crawl out of bed around 6:10 and managed to make it out of the house a few minutes after 7.

Ugh!!! I am so exhausted today. So much for starting my week out on a positive note.


-Strange ((^_~))

Recap

Ok, so it’s been about a year since I’ve updated this blog with anything personal about my life. So here we go:

Lovelife
One word: AWESOMENESS. So, when we last spoke I mentioned how I had just started seeing this nice woman, Lady D. Fast forward to today: I’M GETTING MARRIED ON JULY 19TH, 2009!!! We moved in together on August 1st, 2008. The woman formerly now as Lady D, now and forever more known as Craig or CraigiePoo, popped the question on September 2, 2008 a week shy of our 6 month anniversary.

AWESOMENESS!!!

I couldn’t be happier. I’ve picked out my dress. Actually, I had to have mine custom made. Apparently, red wedding dresses haven’t quite caught in the good ole U.S. of A. I look so darn cute, I can’t stand it!

We’ve gotten our wedding bands, wedding invitations, wedding ceremony and reception site, wedding favors. We’ve gotten it all already. Now, comes the hardest part...waiting until July 19th. I’m still not sure how many guest we’re going to have. We originally had it around 76 people, but if everybody who is on our current list shows up...with their guest, it’ll be around 110. Whoo hoo! Good times!!! Can’t wait.

On a funny note: Shawty Le Red, also now and forever known as Alexis (cause she didn’t like being referred to as Shawty Le Red), is going to be my maid of honor. She was going to be just a bridesmaid, but got bumped up to Maid of Honor since the Cranky Librarian has decided it’s too much work to keep in contact with anyone anymore. Meh, it happens.

School
I almost dropped out of college in the Fall 08 semester. I am so over getting my BA degree. I’m ready to move on to the next thing. I hated all my classes last semester. If I’m paying $1500 a class I expect more than watching HBO dramas and playing bloody video games. One teacher even caused me to go home and drink after the first class because he was so erratic in his teaching style. I dropped the course. One of my other classes was cancelled due to low enrollment. Blah blah blah yada yada yada, I’m now graduating in December 2009 instead of May 2009. I am so over it.

Work
I’m thankful that I still have a job ::said through clench teeth while soul slowly continues to die::

-Strange ((^_~))