Do you ever get the feeling that everybody already knows everybody else and you are the constant new kid? It never seems to fail. Whenever I start a new class, it seems like by the end of the class everybody has paired off with their new BFF. I’ve always been amazed (maybe even a little envious) how even the nerdiest of the geeky nerds can immediately connect with another human being.
I’m sure part of it has to do with me and my own perceptions. I have a bad habit of immediately judging someone base on nothing more than a 5 second glance. In that 5 second window frame, I’ve summed up their politics, sexual orientation and social status. A gold tooth and a multi-colored weave can say a lot about a person. Most times my initial assessment turns out to be right, but I do wonder how many wonderful people I’ve never gotten the chance to know better.
I've always been awkward around new people and have never been known to have a gaggle of friends on speed dial. It would be nice to though to be able to connect with people more easily.
I think I'm having one of those insecured days. So much of my life has changed in the last three years. I've lost one job and now losing another at the end of July. I've fallen in love, gave up living rent free to buy a house with my love, gotten married and am now getting a divorce. I've lost 2 friendships. Thankfully, one of them has been resurrected and it's almost as if no time was lost. I'm still not sure what happened to the other or what makes a person just decide to not return your phone call or emails. I try not to be sad. If people want me they know how to get in contact with me.
I guess transition is just a part of life and sometimes you have to just let go and let it take you where you need to go.