We have a new email server/system thingie here at the plantation. It ain't working probably (shocking) and everybody seems to be in a panic.
I took 2 days of vacation early this week so I could focus on my school work. Somehow I've managed to work 40 hours a week and carry 7 classes. That's 21 units. Yeah, I know...what was I thinking? Let's just say math and the hard sciences will never be my friends and the 4 classes I took over this past year in those disciplines really brought my GPA down. While I was still just above a 3.1, I added more humanities and social science classes to my already full course load this semester to bring that GPA of mine back up. Luckily 3 of my classes are all online.
I LOVE ONLINE LEARNING!!!
I can't believe I waited so long to take online classes. I can do it anytime, anywhere, and unlike being in traditional classrooms, I actually participate in the discussions." I'm taking a political science course and if I actually had to sit in a classroom and be a part of live discussions, I would have dropped weeks ago. Dudes, if I could find an online graduate program that fit my needs I would so be there.
I also finally started writing my senior thesis paper (I've have a rough draft due this Friday). Of course, all my creative juices start flowing during the last few hours of my vacation time (which was quite annoying since I took the 2 days of vacation so I could focus on writing the bloody paper). That might explain why I could not turn off my brain last night and didn't get to sleep until close to 1am. Somehow I managed to drag myself out of bed at 4:30am this morning and did some additional studying.
I also made a big purchase this morning from Amazon. I give more information when I have my new toy in my greedy little hands.
- Strange ((^_~))
P.S. If you were looking for something juicier in a blog posting, remember this, I said I would update this blog more...I didn't say nothing about them being good blog post. Don't judge me. You don't know me. ((^_~))
I don’t know what’s been going on the last few weeks, but for the first time in damn near 10 years I’m feeling inspired to get back into pursuing my creative arts. For those you who don’t know, yours truly is a published author. I’ve had at least 3 stories published in various lesbian erotica anthologies. Yes, dears, your girl's a smut peddler and quite proud! You can check them out here, here , and here.
I used to write all the time and loved it. I would daydream about writing and directing films. Somewhere along the way, those dreams got pushed further and further to the back of my brain. I think it coincided with my entering the work world full time.
Before I was a full fledge adult working full time, I would spend hours at the library roaming the stacks or riding back and forth on BART just writing away in my notebook. I completed my first (and to date only) feature length screenplay in a few months just riding BART. I would start at which every station I was closest to, ride to the end of the line, and ride all the way back to the end of the other line. It was amazing.
Now, all these years later I look at my life and I realized I’m not happy (work wise) and more importantly completely unfilled when it comes to my work life and career. I really don’t have a career. I have a job. I don’t want that anymore. I need to focus on where my real talents lie and get off my flat ass and start pursuing them hard. I’ve decided that if I’m going to be making next no money it should be doing something that I don’t mind waking up at dark o’clock in the morning for.
So, here are my goals for the upcoming year:.
1. Write- from now until the end of the year (which is about 9 weeks) I’m determined to write at least 250 words a day. That equals hovers around half a page singled space or a full page double spaced. Being a Pisces, I'm big on the daydreaming and I recently realized that my daydreams would make really interesting tales. After the start of the new year, I’ll look into increasing the 250 word count.
2. Update this damn blog more than once every few months. I always complain when I go to blogs that haven’t been update in 2 years. I’m aiming for new blog postings at least 3 times a week for now.
3. Take a film/video class. I did take about a year's worth of classes at City College of San Francisco back in the late nineties. I have a rudimentary knowledge of the process. I still got dreams of writing/directing films. Hollywood is in desperate need of new ideas these days. How many more damn remakes can I see being advertised?
4. Now that the first part of college education is coming to a close, I’ll be able to focus on pursuing my other career goal of being a Sexual Health Educator. I’ll be looking into applying to some programs to get that foundational education.
5. I’ve really gotten into listening to podcasts over the past few months. I’m in the mental stages of planning my own podcast. I got random shit I like to talk about why not share with the rest of the world. I’m also really loving video podcasts and having been searching around for a decent camcorder.
What are your goals for the upcoming year? Please share.
I really don’t know why I don’t have that movie in my collection. I do like to quote from it quite often.
Anyways, I can’t believe it’s been just over 2 weeks since CraigiePoo and I got married and I haven’t posted about it. It was all awesome. Our dresses were gorgeous. The venue was beautiful. The food (the little that I got to enjoy) was delicious. It’s amazing how much effort goes into planning a party that only lasts 5 hours from start to finish.
I woke up that morning actually feeling a bit nauseous. I don’t know if it was from the nerves or if it was from the weird dream that was playing in my head just before I woke up. In the dream some greasy dude was talking crazy about how Gavin Newsome and Barack Obama weren’t real Democrats and were ruining the country. Then he would bite into a strawberry, vomit it back (yes, you read that correctly) and then hand it to me. I woke up on the greasy dude’s third upchuck and ran to the bathroom. I just knew I was about to vomit. It was hours before my stomach settled down.
After we left Craigie’s hair appointment (I even got my hair cleaned up for free) we arrived at the hotel a little after 12 and then hung out for a few hours before the 2 photographers arrived at 4pm. It’s real hard trying to act normal when you got somebody following you around with a camera. About 5:45pm CraigiePoo, myself, and our wedding party were packed into the hotel shuttle on our way to the wedding venue, which was less than 5 minutes away by car.
With the exception of the florist misreading the invoice and only providing us with one bridesmaid’s bouquet instead of the three we order, everything was as we had vision. As for the missing two bouquets, my new sister-in-law managed to make the one bouquet into three smaller ones and the florist refunded our money.
I really don’t remember much about the actual ceremony. The one thing I can remember is smiling like an idiot the entire time. I couldn’t stop cheesing. CraigiePoo decided to surprise me and sang part of her vows. Someone how I managed to get to read my vows with passing out.
After the ceremony there was picture taking, more picture taking, and still more picture taking before we were announced. The night was so much fun. We danced and danced and danced for hours. I could feel the sweat just dripping off of me. Sometime around 10:30pm we were back at the hotel exhausted and hungry. I think we both only managed to eat a few bites of food the entire night. It was the best day of my life.
Now, that 10 months of preparation and planning have come and gone, I have no idea what we’re going to do to fill up our time.
I finished my Introduction to Statistics course three days ago. I’m glad it’s over, but I won’t be able to do my dance of joy until I know what my final grade is. I need a “C” grade. I think my primary school will accept a “D” as passing, but I would prefer the higher grade since I’m applying to graduate schools (more information on more post-BA decisions in another post) in the next few months. I need to maintain a 3.0 GPA. I really don’t understand the purpose of taking any math beyond pre-algebra. I’ve been saying since 1989, when I entered ninth grade and took my first algebra class, “when am I ever going to use this in the real world?”
And if I do need to use it, that’s when I would just pay somebody to do the math for me.
So, I spent last night sleeping on a makeshift bed on the floor. No, I didn't get kicked out of bed (puhleeze, who would ever kick me out) rather my lower back is killing me. It started Saturday night. I spent 2, maybe 3 hours slouched on the couch eating pizza and watching Golden Girls reruns. Some people like to go out and get drunk on Saturday nights, I like to stuff my face with greasy food and watch the wacky adventures of funny old white ladies.
Don't judge me!
Anyhoo, when I got up off the couch this horrible pain shot through me. I figured it was just the muscles stiff from not moving in few hours and the pain would just go away soon. I woke up Sunday still in pain and spent the majority of the day with an icepack wedge in the back of my underwear. Yeah, I know….sexxxy!
I’ve tried Aleve, Excedrin, and was even tempted to take some old pain medication I found in the back of the closet. CraigiePoo convinced me not to. Every time I would try to rest on the bed that just proved to be the equivalent of gnomes just kicking me in the back. Every turn produced some horribly wincing noise. I eventually decided to just try sleeping on the couch hoping the hard surface would help.
It didn’t.
I don’t know how I managed to pull myself up off the floor this morning. Once I was standing…or at least a close approximation to standing I had to call CraigiePoo to come help me. I could barely move my legs. I managed to make it to the bathroom in time.
So now I’m sitting at the table in a hard chair waiting for CraigiePoo to get out of the shower. Looks like I’m going to have to drag myself to store to get some pain medication. I called “Alexis”, but apparently she’s too busy to bring me anything. Something about “I just got to work. I can’t leave. Blah blah blah.”
So, CraigiePoo and I went in for a final dress fittings yesterday morning. The dresses look awesome. I can't believe the wedding is only 7 days away. The months have flown by since that evening in September 2008 when Craigie popped the question. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous or excited and honestly, no, i'm not. Even though it's one week away the wedding still feels very far away. That could be because we had damn near everything already completed by the end of December. So in these last few weeks there hasn't been that overwhelming rush to get everything done. I have yet to have a total Bridezilla freak out moment, although "Alexis" has been slowly but surely pushing me into Bridezilla territory these past couple of days. If I say you should have your dress by April don't come to me in July just now asking about dresses and alterations. And it ain't like I didn't ask her repeatedly "how's the dress hunt going."
Anyhoo, this last week will probably test my patience and see how I really act under pressure. CraigiePoo's family is flying in this Thursday, I have a hair appointment on Thursday, and I also have a Statistics test on Thursday as well. I also think we're having a "favor" party this Thursday as well. Good grief, Thursday alone may have me drinking straight out the bottle.
Ask me on July 17th if i'm nervous or excited and we'll see what my answer is then.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what exactly it is I want to do with my life, professionally speaking. How do I wish to make money and sustain myself and future Mrs. (11 days and counting to the wedding by the way)?
For so long I’ve been so hyper focused on going to San Francisco State University for graduate school and studying in their Human Sexuality Program. It's the reason I went back to school to get my bachelor's degree. If they had offered a BA degree in Human Sexuality I would have stopped with schooling once I got my BA. I’ve focused so much on wanting to get acceped into the masters program that every report card I got would have me biting my nails, wondering if my GPA was still high enough for this program. I needed at least a 3.0. My GPA is around 3.2. I wondered if I was smart enough to get in or if I was a "radical enough thinker" for San Francisco. I'm a borderline tree hugging liberal, but there are times when I feel some of my views regarding sex, sexuality, and gender can be construed as conversative by Bay Area standards. Since it’s the only program of its kind in the United States (other than 1 doctoral program in Pennsylvania) I was so fixated on getting accepted into SFSU. If I could just get in, I’d be set.
As I now enter my last semester of undergraduate work it’s now time for me to start the application process for the Human Sexuality Program.
At least it was...until a few weeks ago.
My BFF, "Alexis", threw me a bachelorette party about 3 weeks ago. Towards the end I mentioned to one of the party guest my school plans. She was like, “nope. You don’t need to go there to learn and teach about sexuality.” My party guest had actually worked in the department and didn’t have great things to say about it. As we talked I realized that there were other avenues (right here in the Bay Area) for me to obtain the type of sexuality education I wanted. I'm more interested in counseling/advising rather than scientific research in the field of sexuality.
I can’t explain how relieved I am to have that weight off my shoulders. Now I’m in the process of investigating other fields of graduate worked that will compliment my sexual education studies. I’m thinking possibly a Masters in Social Work, Counseling, or Sociology. Seeing how these are degrees that are offered at many colleges and university right here in the Bay Area the anxiety of “will I get in,” has dissipated.
Now I need to turn my attention to getting admissions applications submitted.
So this past weekend I slept until about 11 on Saturday and til 10 on Sunday. It was nice. I haven’t been able to sleep in that late on a weekend in a long time. Anyways, last night (Sunday) I was all prepared to get into bed by 9 so I could get up bright and early to work out in the morning. I took my shower, got in my pajamas, took a melatonin and was all set to get in bed by 9. 9 o’clock rolls around and I’m still wide awake. Ok, no big deal. I’ll just watch Family Guy and then go to bed. 9:30 rolls around, Family Guy is off and I’m still awake. I watch American Dad and finally climb into bed at 10 expecting to fall fast asleep.
Sometime around 11:45pm I found myself sitting at my computer going through my photos deleting a bunch of them. It was like I had drunk a whole pot of super coffee. I was wide awake. Around 12:15 I climb back into bed and continue to toss and turn. I finally gave up on sleeping in the bed around 1am and made my way to the couch where I probably laid awake for another 20 minutes, finally falling asleep around 1:30 only to be awaken a short while later around 4:30. 4:30 was the time I had planned to get up to workout this morning.
That ain’t happened today.
I finally managed to crawl out of bed around 6:10 and managed to make it out of the house a few minutes after 7.
Ugh!!! I am so exhausted today. So much for starting my week out on a positive note.
Ok, so it’s been about a year since I’ve updated this blog with anything personal about my life. So here we go:
Lovelife One word: AWESOMENESS. So, when we last spoke I mentioned how I had just started seeing this nice woman, Lady D. Fast forward to today: I’M GETTING MARRIED ON JULY 19TH, 2009!!! We moved in together on August 1st, 2008. The woman formerly now as Lady D, now and forever more known as Craig or CraigiePoo, popped the question on September 2, 2008 a week shy of our 6 month anniversary.
AWESOMENESS!!!
I couldn’t be happier. I’ve picked out my dress. Actually, I had to have mine custom made. Apparently, red wedding dresses haven’t quite caught in the good ole U.S. of A. I look so darn cute, I can’t stand it!
We’ve gotten our wedding bands, wedding invitations, wedding ceremony and reception site, wedding favors. We’ve gotten it all already. Now, comes the hardest part...waiting until July 19th. I’m still not sure how many guest we’re going to have. We originally had it around 76 people, but if everybody who is on our current list shows up...with their guest, it’ll be around 110. Whoo hoo! Good times!!! Can’t wait.
On a funny note: Shawty Le Red, also now and forever known as Alexis (cause she didn’t like being referred to as Shawty Le Red), is going to be my maid of honor. She was going to be just a bridesmaid, but got bumped up to Maid of Honor since the Cranky Librarian has decided it’s too much work to keep in contact with anyone anymore. Meh, it happens.
School I almost dropped out of college in the Fall 08 semester. I am so over getting my BA degree. I’m ready to move on to the next thing. I hated all my classes last semester. If I’m paying $1500 a class I expect more than watching HBO dramas and playing bloody video games. One teacher even caused me to go home and drink after the first class because he was so erratic in his teaching style. I dropped the course. One of my other classes was cancelled due to low enrollment. Blah blah blah yada yada yada, I’m now graduating in December 2009 instead of May 2009. I am so over it.
Work I’m thankful that I still have a job ::said through clench teeth while soul slowly continues to die::
So, so much has happened since I last updated this blog and I will be discussing my life over the past few months, but right now I need to get this off my chest. Here goes:
Black people are not the reason that Proposition 8 passed in California.
For those that don’t know Prop 8 is a measure that calls for a constitutional amendment to California’s constitution. It would declare marriage to be between one man and one woman. In May 2008, the California State Supreme court ruled that gay and lesbian people have the right to marry under the California constitution, which does not prevent discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Of course this put all the right wingers into an uproar, and with millions upon millions of dollars (mostly contributions from entities outside of California) Prop 8 was put on the November 2008 ballot.
Much to the surprise of people all over the state of California, Prop 8 passed. In California, marriage is now defined as being only between one man and one woman. In the six months since the state supreme court ruled in favor of same sex marriage, over 18,000 gay and lesbian couples have exercised their constitutional right to marry the person of their choosing. With the passage of Prop 8, the validity of those marriages are now in question.
So what does this have to do with Black folk, you ask? In case you’ve been living under a rock on Pluto and hadn’t heard, for the first time in history the United States a major political ticket had a viable African American candidate running for President of the United States, Senator Barack Obama. I think the prospect of 1). George W. Bush out office and 2) having a president who was Black, energize black folks and they got out to vote in numbers not seen in years. Even though Barack Obama was not my first choice for president (go Dennis Kucinich) he has qualities and ideas that made me proud to cast a vote for him when November 4, 2008 came around.
Back to Prop 8 & black folk. It is no secret that the overwhelming majority of Black folks hold religion in high esteem. I’m sure the reasons behind that are for another post. I think for a lot of black folk homosexuality and religion are diametrically opposed. In the minds of many (NOT ALL), homosexuality is a downright sin and abomination. So it would only be natural and morally right (in their minds) to vote to pass a measure that would ban same sex marriage. Homosexuality goes against their religious beliefs. It doesn’t matter that what they were voting for would strip a segment of the population (a segment that includes other black folk and racial minorities) of their civil rights. It didn’t matter that they were voting to write discrimination into the state constitution, the same constitution that not too long ago blatantly discriminated against African Americans. It didn’t matter that they were using the same agreements against gay marriage that were used against interracial at one time in American history. All that matter was homosexuality is a sin. So while many black folk were casting their ballots for the man who would become our 44th president, they also cast a vote to ban marriage for same sex couples.
Now, if I didn’t know better, I would understand why so many gay (white) people are up in arms and blaming African Americans for the passing of Proposition 8. But, I do know better. I know that black folk make up 6% of the California population. Even if all black folk in California had voted Yes on 8, it still would have passed. I know that it was not African Americans who put proposition 8 on the California ballot. I know that it was not black folks who funneled millions upon millions upon millions of dollars into the state of California to fund the Yes on 8 campaign. If we’re going to play the blame game, start with the following:
The Mormon Church (not always the biggest supporter of Black folk) and other ultra conservative religious organizations raised millions to help pass Proposition 8.
No on 8 campaign. Why them? Because they ran, to put it blatantly and in layman’s terms, a punk ass ineffectual oppositional campaign. Did you see the commercials on TV? While the Yes on 8 was running ads full of blatant lies about schools and children
No on 8 countered back with timid ads like these
and don't forget this one
While I understand it’s important to get the message out anyway you can and a no vote is a no vote, where was the outrage on No on 8’s part? Hell, where are all the gay people and couples that this evil law is going to affect? Where was the outreach to communities of color? Where was the outreach to gay, lesbian, bisexual people of color? I can’t tell you how many times I turned on black Bay Area radio stations and heard Yes on 8 advertisements. Not once did I hear No on 8 on any of the stations that predominately catered to African Americans, but I sure as hell heard them on them on the one station in the bay area that specifically caters to young white gays (a station that I do enjoy listening to everyday, by the way). Why are we preaching to the choir?
Is there homophobia in the Black community? YES!!!! There is also homophobia in the Latino communities, there is homophobia in Asian communities, and there is homophobia in white communities. There is homophobia in all communities so why, all of sudden, is it the fault of black folks that Prop 8 failed?
So, now that Proposition 8, the ban on same sex marriages, has passed and the legal battles are now going to be fought, what happens next? For me, it just leaves more questions. When are we gay people going to stop marching on the streets of the Castro district and West Hollywood and start marching up and down the streets where those who hate gays live? When are white gays going to start actively reaching out to people of color in the fight to end discrimination? When are gay, lesbian, and bisexual people of color going to finally come out, stand up, and demand our place at the table in our communities of color and in the gay community at large?
Oh what a weekend I had. My new paramour (who shall from now on be known only as Lady D) finally met the ex-wife, Shawty Le Red. It went well. We, along with Cranky Librarian, all had brunch with a group of other queer people of color and then went to a museum. Good times were had by all, for the most part. There was one crunchy episode. More to possibly come if I feel like it.
I didn’t feel funny at all about being all kissykissy and affectionate with Lady D around Shawty Le Red. I really can’t keep my hands off Lady D. She’s hot!!! What can I say.
Now that my unofficial celibacy has ended I realized something. While I’ve got a kinky side to me and like spanking and other forms of BDSM, a good old fashion bump and grind always bring to me the promise land.
Today’s word of the day girls and boys: tribadism.
So, it would appear that everyone’s favorite strangelilblackgrl is back in the sex having game. After 457 days of sex with my right hand and my dirty imagination, I have gotten laid.
::CROWD GOES WILD WITH CHEERS::
After so much time away from the game, I find that I really don’t know what I’m doing anymore. My new paramour is actually quite shy and very quiet. I’m finding that I’m having to be the aggressor...which I kinda like. ::insert silly giggle here:: If only I can find a way to make my move so that things get rolling before 10, 11 o’clock at night. I got to work in the morning and staying up until 2 f*cking on a weekday is not conducive to me getting out of bed on time.
Anyway, back to me having forgotting everything about pleasing a woman. After being rejected so many times by the ex-wife, my confidence has definitely taking a hit. Sex was the one thing I knew I was good at (ask all the other broads who aren’t ex-wives). Now I finding myself having conversations in my head while I’m in the middle of the act. It’s crazy.
Today marks the anniversary of my 33rd year on this planet. They call your 33rd year your Jesus year. It's the year where you either get off your ass and do something with your life or just forget about it.
I started the morning with a headache, followed by damn near crying a good portion of the morning while sitting at my desk at work, to feeling so so for the rest of the day. By the time I left work, my allergies had started to act up, but I was feeling a bit better. I went out to dinner with my best friend, the Cranky Librarian, and my ex-wife, Shawty Le Red. Overall it today was a good day.
I think I was missing my mother today. Birthday’s have never really matter too much since she died almost 8 years ago. It’s hard to believe it’s been 8 years. I recognize how much I’ve changed, but how I’ve stayed stagnant at the same time. I’m now 33 and I’m nowhere where I thought I would be 8 years ago. I still have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I’m just kind of existing, working at a job that I’m bored with and is giving me carpal tunnel (the excessive masturbation problem doesn’t help either), and just not really enjoying life.
So, here in my Jesus year (the year to do or die) these are my goals:
1. Find a job that I enjoy and that pays me an adult wage. 2. Get back into my writing. I have all these ideas, characters, and scenarios in my head. 3. Stop living in my head and daydreaming so much. 4. Finally start that T-shirt/bumpersticker business I’ve been wanting to do for years 5. Get laid…by someone other than myself. 6. Drop some of the pounds cause my stomach should not be bigger than my boobs... and I’ve got big boobs. The Cranky Librarian describes them as pendulous.
I’ve never been good at keeping a diary or a journal and it appears this whole blogging thing ain’t much different. So here’s what’s been going on since I last posted, October 2007
School I carried a full load during the Fall semester of 2007, 5 classes, for a total of 15 units. I got 3 A’s and 2 B’s and continue to do the cabbage in celebration of my good grades. Did I mention I was also working fulltime while busting my non-existence ass for those grades?
Home I found a new apartment, in the Lake Merritt area, near the end of December. I finally got fed up with my ghetto neighbors at my old apartment in the Fruitvale district. Apparently that chick, who was always yelling at her poor child, didn’t live in the apartment next to me. She lived in a downstairs apartment! For her to be yelling that loud to the point where I could make out every curse word, and not be living right next door, was sad and appalling.
I’m still trying to decide on my new Lake Merritt apartment. I love that I’m so close to the Lake and it’s going to be awesome once the weather warms up, but I’m not quite sure about the apartment itself. The property management company damn near asked for everything except my DNA when I submitted my application, but I quickly realized the apartment doesn’t quite live up to standards. For starters, there was the light issue in the bathroom on my very first night. I’m no rocket scientist but I’m pretty sure water in an electrical outlet is not a good idea. The light bulb blew out and when I went to change the light I discovered that the light fixture was full of water. It was coming from the dude upstairs (who I will discuss later). That was issue one.
Second issue happened just a few weeks ago. I left my apartment at 11am, I got back at 12:25pm. An hour and 25 minutes. The kitchen sink somehow mysteriously backed up and a good chunk of the carpet was soaked through. I still haven’t been able to figure that one out.
Third issue. My upstairs neighbor. I don’t know about you, but I usually tend to be asleep at 3 in the morning. Why is this old man making so much noise? Who the hell is hammering at 3 in the morning? And how thin do walls have to be to actually be able to hear old dude snoring. SNORING!!!! I can hear him snoring...when he’s not building whatever it is it sounds like he’s building.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be apartment hunting again when the semester is over. I want to stay back the lake though. Hell if I can find another apartment on the same damn street that would be great!! Love/Sex Life Sex? Uh…what’s that? You think I was trying to get permission to perform brain surgery. I’m just trying to get laid with no luck. Whoever said it was easier for women to get laid than men must have been talking about straight women. I’m convinced that there are no normal, sexually secure, sane, regular women of color left in the Bay Area.
I found this on myspace. I love these things. I don't know what happened to questions 4, 27 & 35
1. Who was the last person to call you baby & meant it? Don’t remember . 2. What color are your eyes? Brown. 3. How tall are you? 5'4” 5. Do you like your parents? Yes 6. Do you secretly like someone? No...haven’t crushed on anyone in a long time 7. Why did your last relationship end? Ask her 8.Whats your favorite book? Too many to name just one 9. Favorite ex? Ms. Smith 10. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Sleep. 11. Do you look like your mom or dad? Depends on what the person looking at me thinks. 12. Can you do a split? No 13. What movie do you want to see right now? Saw IV...right after I see the Saw II and Saw III 14. What did you do for New Year's Eve? Watched my then wife sleep. I'd been promised sex. 15. Do you think The Grudge was crappy? It was alright 16. Was your mom a cheerleader? No. 17. What's the last letter of your middle name? I have two middle names and until this very moment didn’t realize the both ended in ‘A’ 18. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? 6-7 19. Do you like care bears? I don’t hate them 20. Do you know how to play poker? Heehee... you said poke her 21. Do you wear your seat belt? Yes. 22. What do you wear to sleep? Bottoms and top unless it’s too hot then it’s just the bottoms baby!!! 23. Anything big ever happen in your town? We’re fond of murder. :( 24. is your hair straight or curly? Uh...i don’t know. I guess very tightly curled. Is that what we’re calling the hair of black folks these days? 25. Is your tongue pierced? NO. 26. Do you like Liver and Onions? No. I still have dreams of getting laid again. 28. Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny 29. ever been to LA.? Yes. 30. Who is on your mind right now? No one 31. Any plans for tonight? Going to class to get my edumacation. Imma be smart!!! 32. What's your favorite song at the moment? "Gimme More" by Britney Spears. What?! She’s gonna make a comeback! You watch!!! 33. Do you hate chocolate? No. 34. What do you and your parents fight about the most? Nothing 36. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No. 37. What do people usually mistake you for? Extra serious. 38. Are you easy to get along with? Yes...as long as you agree with me. 39. What is your favorite time of day? Late late night or early early morning. 40. Are you a generally happy person? I try to be, but I’m really moody.
School So, since my last posting, I’ve started school at Holy Names University. Yeah for me!!! Stupid Cal State Eastbaycouldn’t get their act together in 5 months. HNU accepted me 1 month after receiving my application. I’m a junior in the Religious Studies program. Funny thing is, for a Catholic school, they don’t seem to offer many religious studies class each semester.
BTW, I managed to pass that Biology class I took over the summer with a 'C.'
Job I was offered a position in a new department a week before my old job was to end. There are times when I wish I would have taken my little pitiful retention bonus and just left the damn company. No one knows anything and no one seems interested in trying to figure out how to do what it is their supposed to know.
Personal Life GirlMeat and I have officially separated and are almost fully divorced. I’ve moved out into my own apartment. It’s ok, except I have a ghetto neighbor who likes to yell out her child almost every night. Why is she so angry?
GirlMeat and I are getting along better now than the we were the entire time we lived together. Most days I’m ok with the state of our relationship as it currently stands. Other times I wonder if remaining friends is really such a good idea? Sometimes I think I should just cut all ties and move on. I’m used to never seeing or having any communication with a person again once we’ve broken up. GirlMeat and I spend most of the workday emailing each other back and forth.
Sex Life It’s now been 310 days since I last had sex…with someone who wasn’t me. Why is it so hard to find normal, fairly sane people to get a little horizontal loving from?
I just took my first biology test in damn near 14 years. WHAT THE F*CK!!!!!!!
The instructor might as well gave the test in Mandarin for all the good it would have done me. I didn't understand a damn thing and guessed on most of the answers.
I don't understand the point of useless classes required in school. When will I ever be asked to explain mitochondria to anyone? When?
How can you really expect anyone else to look at you as a sensual, sexually enticing woman when the one who spent so long telling you how beautiful you are tells you “I just don’t find you sexual anymore?” How do you get over the insecurity, the unease of putting yourself out there back on the market? For so long you’ve been told almost every day how beautiful you are. How cute and adorable you are. Then one day it stops and you find out your love no longer looks at you that way and you’re left wondering why? What happened?
On a scale of 1-10, it’s been a -1 on the self esteem meter. I want to meet new people, but that damn gnat buzzing around my ear keeps saying “You’re not good enough. You’re never gonna be good enough for anyone...not anyone you really want.” That gnat has been in my ear for years and I’ve got the trail of bodies behind me to prove it. A trail that consists of so many women I settled for because that’s all I thought I deserved and could never achieve better.
Strange is the name. As a writer, I’ve written many short stories & have been published in numerous anthologies. I’m also an emerging photographer and sexual health educator. I love photography and love to talk sex. This blog is a potpourri of my many interests and then some. I’m pretty random in what I post. If you like randomness, you’re in the right place. You’re going to fall in love. Don’t even try to fight it. Many have tried, but they all fail.
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